Week 21

We are officially past the halfway mark! This is also the last weekly fruit update...they move to monthly changes after this.

I definitely feel HUGE this week! I swear I've grown a lot since that last picture was taken, and I know there's plenty of growing left to do. I'm to that point where no one has to question whether I'm pregnant or not...even with a winter coat on. Most days I feel great, today I felt squished...breathing was harder, bending over felt nearly impossible, and there was definitely some stretching going on.

I've been busy the past few days creating baby registries, and tomorrow I will embark on washing/organizing all of the baby clothes we've received. Hopefully soon we'll start on creating the nursery. Jason has quite a few projects going so it'll be some time before we get any pictures of that up!

Here are the links to the registries....they are a work in progress and will still be changed and added to, but it's a good start.

Target- http://www.target.com/RegistryGiftGiverCmd?isPreview=false&status=completePageLink&listId=tF-3XNw_TJoixwSxkM7viA&registryType=BB&isAjax=false

Babies R Us- http://www.toysrus.com/registry/search/index.jsp?_flowExecutionKey=_c6130C4D0-349F-CF74-D90E-7B8720F9FAC3_kDC551E33-0754-0A45-A64E-BC92804B6EE7&overrideStore=TRUS

And here's the weekly update on the babies' size:

Your Baby: Week 21

Baby gulps down several ounces of amniotic fluid every day, both for hydration and nutrition and to practice swallowing and digesting. And, these days, those taste buds actually work! Studies show that after birth, babies are most interested in tastes they've already experienced through amniotic fluid. Meaning, think about what you want your future child to eat as you prepare your own lunch.

As a side note... please keep Jason and me in mind this next week....we turned in our cable box and will be living on just the basic channels. We're already joking about how this is going to make us have to actually talk to each other or read instead of turning on the tv!

Week 20

Your Baby: Week 20

Baby's digestive system is busy creating meconium (a tarry black substance made of swallowed amniotic fluid, digestive secretion and dead cells), which will fill the first diaper after birth. And, speaking of the diaper situation... baby's genitals are now fully formed!

Jason and I definitely agree that there are not 2 cantaloupes inside me so we think this picture is referring to the diameter and not the entire melon.

Sorry for the delay in posting this week; with Christmas and traveling and just keeping my head on straight this is the first time I've had to sit down and write.

While at Christmas with Jason's family I compared my belly with Lesley (our sister in law's) from when she was pregnant... it appears that I am measuring 6.5-7 months when referring to her pictures.

New symptoms the past few weeks include reflux, difficulty sleeping, and hip/leg pains at night.

We had our 20wk ultrasound on the 21st and we have some new pics that we'll post below. The babies are measuring great and are a good few weeks ahead in weight and head size.

I hope you all had great Christmases!

Our daughter's footprint:

Our son's footprint:

Profile view of our son:

Unfortunately, our daughter was camera shy, so we didn't get too many shots of her. She'll have her picture taken plenty as many photos as Jason takes.

Week 19

Definitely not the prettiest description of the babies this week. Crazy that they're mango sized. I'm still feeling good, growing and stretching, and the little ones are becoming very active. We will have more pics next week after our 20 wk ultrasound! :) After the Christmas tree fiasco (See below) I'll keep this post nice and short!

Your Baby: Week 19

Vernix caseosa, a greasy white substance made of lanugo, oil and dead skin cells (yum) now coats baby's skin, shielding it from the amniotic fluid. (Picture yourself after a nine-month bath, and the need for protection makes sense.) You might actually get to see the vernix at birth, especially if baby is premature.

Christmas Tree Infestation

Jason and I came home from church today. It was like any other day... quick trip to Target, hit the grocery store and come home. While Jason was bringing in the groceries I decided to water the tree. As I bent down to pour the water in I noticed a spider-looking creature crawling up the base of the tree stand. I was afraid it was a tick so I called Jason over and then I noticed what looked like hundreds of little eggs and big mama bugs all over the tree skirt. Upon further inspection we realized there were hundreds of bugs crawling all over the tree. (See pics below) After researching online we discovered the bugs were probably aphids but without much debate at all the tree was thrown outside. Jason offered to buy a new one, or call Lowe's to get a refund, but we figured they'd just give us a new tree. I figure we're leaving in less than a week for Christmas festivities and the tree would die then anyway so we'll keep the rest of the decorations up and just go 'tree-less' for a few days. Definitely contemplating an artificial tree for next year. I'm not sure I can go down that road, but our next tree will be thoroughly inspected and shook out before it goes up!

today marks quite an accomplishment

19 weeks in and meg finally looks more pregnant than me!

Week 18

Your Baby: Week 18

Your fetus has become amazingly mobile (at least compared to you), passing the hours yawning, hiccuping, rolling, twisting, kicking, punching, sucking and swallowing. And, baby's finally big enough that you'll be able to feel those movements soon.

So, if you're like me you wondered what the heck this week's fruit/veggie is: a sweet potato :)

Our little ones are definitely moving a lot more. It seems that our girl moves more after I eat, though our boy kicks up a storm at times too, particularly at night. We get to see them again in less than 2 weeks and get to bring home actual photos so we're excited. What an amazing Christmas present this will be!!

We are nearing, if not at, the half-way point for this pregnancy. (I know it's only week 18, but with twins we're looking at delivering around week 36). It's been a really quick, spectacular journey this far. Though when you consider for the first 4 weeks we didn't know we were pregnant and for the next 4 we didn't believe we were it does go by fast.

Pregnancy symptoms have died off a little. I'm still tired at night, but not exhausted like I was. Definitely eating a lot and still enjoying chicken nuggets and gravy (though typically not together). Peanut butter, anything dairy, OJ and fruit are favorites. I have to force down the veggies :( My memory is also kinda shot so if I forget something you've told me please forgive me and just tell me again :)

I'm starting to organize a lot of the big things in my head. Our biggest struggle right now is coming up with a name for our little girl. Our son (crazy to say that) is taken care of, we think, but we're pretty stuck on a name for our daughter. I'll 'officially' reveal both of the names once we get them figured out, though many of you already know the boy's name. I just feel bad using his name when we don't have one for her. Any suggestions for a girl name are happily considered!

Week 17

Jason updated you all on our dr visit. It was amazing and so much fun! The even more exciting part is that we get to go back in 3 weeks for our official anatomy ultrasound so we'll be able to see them again!

This week I've been busy looking and trying to find baby bedding. I decided to buy instead of sew just due to the fact that it would take a long time to make and it would end up being much more expensive. After a LOT of searching we decided on mix and match from Carters. (It's on order so we'll see if we like it once it's in, but it was definitely the cheapest option and looks to be the comfiest). I didn't get the complete custom feel from ordering, but it's customized enough to appease me with the mix/match idea. I'll include pictures of it later if we end up liking it.

Jason's been busy as well and has begun the huge task of cleaning out the garage... partly to just have it cleaned so he can begin working on some new woodworking ideas, but mostly to let us park in there again. :)

Anyway, November absolutely flew by and I know December will too! I'm posting week 17 info, but really we're almost to week 18! You'll notice that the 'average' size of baby at this week is 5.9oz and we're already just past 7oz so I'm thinking even with twins we'll still be having larger babies. We'll see if the growth trend continues or levels off. :)

Your Baby: Week 17

Baby's skeleton is hardening, changing from rubbery cartilage to bone, and fat is finally accumulating around it. The umbilical cord is getting thicker and stronger, and those little fingers and toes are now topped by one-of-a-kind prints.

pardon the interruption

Jason here. I have to hijack the blog, because yesterday was the most fun I have ever had at a doctor's office.

It started typically enough: sitting in the waiting room, digging through the women's magazines to find the one, out-of-date Sports Illustrated, glancing around the room to figure out who's here for what. She's definitely pregnant. That guy looks as nervous as I was the first time I came here. She's old... annual or do you come back for menopause? Finally the ultrasound tech called our name and we got to go back.

Meg's belly gets all lubed up and she starts sliding across it. Wow they've grown! Last time we were here they were little peanut shaped blobs on the screen. Now they have faces and bones and fingers and...that one's bum is in the other's face! Poor kid.

She scanned around some more and we were able to see that one's a boy, and one's a girl! Wait, what's that one doing? The girl is kicking her brother in the face!

We watched the membrane separating them stretch and move like a balloon as Twin A (the girl) repeatedly kicked Twin B(the boy) right in the face for about 5 minutes. The tech measured their stomachs, heads, arm bones, leg bones, hearts -- everything looked great!

Finally, as our 30 minutes of visitation into their little world was ending, she zoomed out and our son was standing up for himself and kicking back. I can only imagine the looks on mine and Meg's faces as we watched in awe as our children swam around.

Our children both weigh about 7 oz. now, are close to identical in size, and had very similar, strong heartbeats. Everything looked great! We are so blessed!

Week 16

Your Baby: Week 16

Watch what you say... tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean the little one can now pick up your voice. Eyebrows, lashes and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming. And, if you're interested, an ultrasound might be able to determine gender.

Alright, little avocados this week. I know, it seems smaller than an orange, but evidently not. We had a great Thanksgiving in Iowa. It was a lot of driving for a short visit, but great seeing family.

We have our next dr. appointment tomorrow where we'll have another ultrasound. We're excited to see how the little ones are growing. Speaking of growing, here's the 16 week picture! It doesn't look like I've grown a lot, but compared to the last picture the belly is a little bigger! :)

Week 15

Your Baby: Week 15

Continuing the march towards normal proportions, baby's legs now out measure the arms. And, finally, all four limbs have functional joints. Your fetus is squirming and wiggling like crazy down in the womb, though you probably still can't feel the movements.

Not a whole lot new to report this week on my end. However I am reporting some news on Jason's end. Tennessee moved to a new teacher evaluating system this year (thanks to the race to the top money we fought to get from the government). It's a pretty intense process where all previously tenured teachers have to undergo 4 evaluations. The teachers are ranked on a 1-5 scale and they were told that most teachers would receive a 3 average. Jason is 2/3 of the way through his observations and has been given 4s and 5s.

We both are looking forward to a week off, and I'm looking forward to all the food that's going to be coming my way! :) Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

Week 14

So, things are going good this week. We kinda slipped into week 14 without me really realizing it!

Changes this week: I'm hungry all the time, but can't eat much at any one time. I have to pack more snacks than I ever thought possible! I'm still craving chicken nuggets from McDonalds or Wendys and gravy (Not together, but that would taste good too). Cheesy potato soup has been a favorite the past couple weeks, but it usually is around this time of year so I'm not sure that can be counted as a pregnancy craving.

I'm starting to get more energy back; still very tired at the end of the day, but not as exhausted throughout the day. It's getting harder to sit on the floor with my clients and I realize that one is only going to get worse :) Still having my emotional breakdowns at very small, unimportant things, but Jason is a trooper to put up with them!

The babies' growth this week looks like this:

Your Baby: Week 14

Your adorable little fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, and (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over the body for warmth.

Week 13

Your Baby: Week 13

Your fetus is forming teeth and vocal cords... savor this, their non-functional phase. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with a head now only one third the size of the body. Intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby's tummy. (Much more convenient.)

We are now officially in the 2nd trimester!! They say that the 1st trimester pregnancy symptoms (nausea, bathroom breaks, etc) will die down this trimester, but so far I haven't noticed much of a difference. I was never all that sick anyway so I can handle the 1-2 times per week it creeps up on me.

Jason and I went to look at baby items this weekend; not necessarily to buy, but to see what we will need and begin thinking of Christmas lists... I kinda knew what we were in for, but he was a little sticker shocked. Thank goodness for consignment stores, craigslist and amazon to help find some cheaper options!!

week 12

Hey everyone! We are finally at week 12!! (one more week and we'll be out of the first trimester!) Been a busy week between Jason and my birthdays, a visit from Mom and Dad, and another dr. visit.
The dr. visit went really well. I'm measuring as big as a 16 wk pregnant person, which is very typical since I'm carrying 2. Both babies have strong heartbeats- 'lefty' was around 160bpm and 'righty' was around 155bpm. I asked the nurse and she said the last ultrasound showed 'di-di' something... I don't know the technical names, but they both have individual sacs and individual placentas which mean they are more than likely fraternal.
I'm feeling good- starting to not fit into my normal clothes anymore so I'm very thankful that I've been loaned pregnancy items (Thanks Lesley!). I'm down to 2 pairs of jeans that were a couple sizes too big initially as the only things that still button. :)
I'm going to try to include a couple pictures...one from about 4 weeks ago and another from this week where you might see a bit of a bump :)



And finally, here's the update on the twins' size for what's left of this week!

Your Baby: Week 12

As you move into the second trimester, baby shifts into the growth and maturation stage. After weeks in the critical development stage, almost all of baby's systems are fully formed.

Week 11

Your Baby: Week 11

Your fetus currently enjoys a 1:1 ratio between body and head, and has skin so transparent that blood vessels show right through. But, fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and hair follicles, tooth buds and nail beds are forming -- setting up a significantly more attractive future.

So, our little ones are lime size this week. There's definitely been a lot of stretching/growing going on lately. I'm overall feeling better, still nauseous, exhausted (Jason laughs at me going to be between 7-8:30 most nights), and experiencing some dizziness. I'm getting to the point where I'm hungry all the time, but yet can't eat much when I do eat.

I've also hit that 'Oh my gosh, we're going to need a lot of stuff' stage so I'm constantly making lists in my head and looking up prices of things online. I, thankfully, have been given/loaned an amazing amount of maternity clothes and baby toys/strollers/necessities.

We're entering the end of the 1st trimester which is exciting (according to developmental timelines we enter the 2nd trimester on Thursday). I have my next dr. appt on Nov 1, and we should be able to hear the heartbeats then so that's exciting.

We're still taking pictures (about every 2 weeks)...not a lot of growth to show yet unless you just really know what my stomach looked like ahead of time, but I'm sure shortly we'll be able to post some belly shots. I promise we'll get them up once you can actually see something- maybe even start with one this weekend since we'll be at the 3 month mark. :)

Thanks for all the continued prayers that everyone develops safe and healthy!

week 10

Sorry, this post is a little late in coming... we were down in GA this weekend visiting Jason's family for his dad's bday and I'm just now getting around to posting.

Still feeling pretty good... the little morning sickness I had is subsiding, though I feel pregnant now. I'm definitely starting to get bigger so there's just always constant pressure, particularly when I'm sitting down. Still exhausted most of the time and still just an overall feeling of not feeling good. All in all I definitely can't complain!

Here is the update on how big the little ones are! (P.S. this is a prune in case you couldn't tell)

Your Baby: Week 10

With bones and cartilage starting to form and vital organs beginning to function, baby is making major progress. Body length will almost double in the next three weeks, and arm joints are now working. (Soon, legs will too.)

week 9, ultrasounds and more

So we had our first ultrasound last Tuesday (technically still in week 8). We were very nervous and excited and got quite a surprise while we were there...here are some pictures of the visit...
And the last picture.......
Yes...you are seeing 2 little images. We're having twins!!!
They both had very strong heartbeats and have 2 separate placentas so they won't be competing for nutrients. They both measured right at 8weeks, 2days.

So after the shock of that wore in we got busy telling family and close friends. We're still not exactly sure how we're going to manage 2 little bundles, but we're very excited about it!

So, here's an update on how big our little ones are:

Your BabIES: Week 9

Your little embryo has now officially graduated to fetus-hood. Adding to the excitement, a Doppler ultrasound device might be able to pick up the beating heart. With basic physical structures in place and increasingly distinct facial features, baby is kind of starting to look like... well... a baby!

Week 8

Your Baby: Week 8

Your baby is growing like mad, putting on about a millimeter every day and continuing to straighten out in the trunk. Though you can't feel it yet, baby is moving those little arms, legs and (now only slightly) webbed fingers and toes like crazy.


Symptoms this past week included more nausea, some sickness, exhaustion, but overall nothing too bad... anytime I start feeling sick I eat which seems to help. Still not eating any beef, which is driving Jason crazy! Oh, and sleeping is not as nice as it used to be. I'm waking up multiple times a night either to go to the bathroom, or usually because I'm uncomfortable. I'm a stomach sleeper by nature which clearly is no longer an option, so this rolling from one side to the other just isn't cutting it.

We're still planning out ways to let y'all know that we're pregnant, but we're down to just a few days so we'd better finalize things soon. It's exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. I'm so excited to see our little one and see the heart beat and yet afraid that it's not going to be beating. Jason's pretty excited too and I think after this visit it will finally become real for us.

Week 7

Baby's now the size of a blueberry!
Baby's brain -- both hemispheres! -- is growing fast, generating about one hundred new cells every minute. Arms and legs are emerging as joints start to form, and a permanent set of kidneys (baby's third!) is now in place.

So at times this week I've been looking at myself and thinking I sure don't look pregnant yet (or feel it sometimes) and then I remember that oh yeah, our baby is only the size of a blueberry.

I still am not suffering from ridiculous morning sickness, thank goodness, but I am nauseous a lot and I am gagging/dry heaving every morning. I definitely make hourly trips to the bathroom and wake up a couple times a night to go (which unfortunately the cats see as play time and think it's time to wake me up).

I did have my first emotional breakdown this week. I am no longer allowed to change the litter, and Jason thought that 2 times a week was enough. I knew it was overdue for a change but when I asked him he said he'd get to it later... needless to say I looked in the box and it was horrible. (He ended up looking soon after and changed it and was ready to call me with an apology when I called and said..) "I'm mad and sad. The cats deserve better than that, they can't live like that. They have feelings you know." He tried not to bust out laughing and the conversation ended well. I then cried harder because I didn't have any tissues in the car. It was one of those situations where I knew I was over-reacting, but I couldn't stop the tears. I'm sure there will be more moments to come.

We're definitely having more trouble keeping this a secret...or ok, I am. Jason is actually pretty good at lying to people, but I have trouble face-to-face. Thankfully only 10 days until the ultrasound. We still haven't really begun talking about names or nursery styles or anything like that... I think part of it is that it's still too early in the pregnancy with everything we've been through and the other part is that we can't get really excited about it until we're actually sharing the news.

Week 6

Baby's now the size of a sweet pea!

Growing like crazy, baby is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks, and chin. Those little hands and feet -- still webbed like paddles -- might wiggle by week's end, the heart is beating (almost twice as fast as yours!), and blood is starting to circulate.

Week 6 is kinda exciting...only 2 more weeks until we get to see our little one and halfway through the first trimester. I'm still not feeling real pregnant yet, but nausea, hunger, and exhaustion have set in. No sickness yet, thankfully! Jason and I both are finding it more difficult to keep this a secret and he's coming up with idea after idea of how to tell people...hopefully you liked whatever way we told you! Only 17 more days until the ultrasound!

Week 5

So I just wrote the week 4 post and not a lot has changed in how I feel. Still a little crampy from time to time and bloated feeling. No nausea or sickness yet, but I'm finding that I don't like really concentrated smells.

I'm having bloodwork done rather regularly to make sure my HCG levels are continuing to increase. The first results came back good; my progesterone was nice and high too which was a relief. The next test is Monday so hopefully I'm still increasing.

I've decided to take up walking as some form of exercise. The dogs enjoy it at least and this fall weather is great! :)

Our little one is anywhere from a sesame seed in size to an apple seed. Here's the info on this week's development:

Baby's now the size of an appleseed!
Your embryo, which doesn't look like much more than a tadpole right now, is actually starting to form major organs (heart, kidney, liver, stomach) and systems (nervous, circulatory, digestive). Baby's presence in your uterus triggers production of HCG (the hormone detected by pregnancy tests), which triggers the production of other hormones like estrogen and progesterone, which triggers all those great symptoms you've probably been noticing!

Jason and I are having a tough time keeping this a secret so it will be nice when I can finally post all of this! 24 days and counting until the first ultrasound and dr. appt!

Just found out....

We're pregnant!

We took a test on 9/6 and it came back positive. We're both very excited and yet very nervous for the next few weeks. Since it took so long to get to this point we were both extremely skeptical that this was for real, but a blood test at the dr's office confirmed. I will continue going back to the dr's office for beta tests just to make sure our little one is continuing to develop, but so far levels look normal.

I don't feel pregnant...I expected some earth-shattering revelation, but I don't feel any different than normal. A little crampy and tired, nauseated but not sick.

Here is a little tidbit on what Baby Dean looks like on week 4:
Baby's now the size of a poppyseed!
Now safe in your womb, the ball of cells (blastocyst) is splitting into the embryo (your future child) and placenta. Outside this microscopic speck, the amniotic sac and fluid are forming into protective cushioning.


We're waiting until the first ultrasound to tell people so when I finally post this you will see a few weeks pop up.

increased levels

So, we finally received some good news regarding my progesterone levels. At my last blood test my levels had raised to 45! I had never been above 15 so that was exciting....no baby yet, but we're hopeful.

I can't say that the increase in hormones hasn't affected me, but the side effects are better than they were on straight progesterone supplements. Jason noticed my moodiness first, but eventually I noticed the increase in crying and moodiness and some anger again. I figure I can handle it and it's worth it if it means a possibility at a baby.

Anyway, fingers crossed and constant prayers that this will be the month!

Mother's Day

So, I meant to type this up on Sunday, when it actually was Mother's day, but I got side-tracked so a week later I'm writing it up (and 2 weeks later posting it)...If you know me at all you know blogging is just not my thing...but I'm trying!

For many women going through infertility Mother's Day can bring up painful, hurtful, sorrowful, envious thoughts. It's a hard day to escape...it follows us everywhere from church to restaurants to any outdoor activity to tv.
I did not have any hard feelings going into Sunday. I was a bit worried about how much it would be celebrated and emphasized in church as I've heard stories and been to some churches where it is definitely the emphasis of the day, but thankfully our church made a brief mention and moved on to the sermon for the day.
I really don't have any words of wisdom for those who have trouble with this day. We've yet to be pregnant so I've never had those feelings and thoughts of 'if only... I'd be having my first mother's day." I know that someday I'll be a mother and be able to 'celebrate' this day, and so for now I'm thankful for the wonderful mom that I have, and the wonderful moms I come into contact with everyday.

updates...

Wow, ok so a lot has happened since this last post. We are not yet pregnant, but I've reached a sense of peace about it. More on that in a second...

To start things off I had to have a laparoscopy/hysteroscopy/fluid flushing/d&c in the middle of January. What ultrasounds back in Sept and Nov picked up ended up being a huge mass of ovarian cysts mixed in with endometriosis. While they were in there and I was under they decided to also scrape out any uterine polyps and check to make sure my tubes were open by flushing fluid through them. I found out at my pre-op appt 2 days prior to the surgery that worse case scenario they'd have to remove my ovaries and if my tubes were blocked it would mean a hysterectomy.

So needless to say I went into the surgery a little nervous, but thankfully everything was open and they were able to remove all the cysts/endometriosis. After the surgery, my doctor debated about putting me on Lupron which causes your reproductive system to shut down (like a premenopausal state) to kill off any remaining endometrial cells, but after reviewing the pathology report decided against it and I remained on Clomid.

Last month I had my bloodwork re-checked and found out that my progesterone levels still are not high enough so they increased my Clomid to 150mg. I think this will be the last increase, and bloodwork was checked again today. If it's still not high enough I think we're on to the fertility center.

Like I said, I've somehow been able to find peace in all of this. I've started, or attempted to start, an infertility group at our church, but with the fickle nature of this disorder it's a little slow in starting up. I've been able to have some really wonderful conversations with remarkable women who either are going through, or have gone through, infertility. There's definitely a community of us out there and it's helped me cope to be able to talk with them.

I can't say that I don't still get sad, and I still question why at times, but ultimately I've realized that God has a plan for Jason and I, and we will be parents someday. God has a child (or children) picked out for us whether they're ours biologically or not. I've realized that this is not a race or rush, and I'm learning to just enjoy the time that Jason and I have with each other, just the 2 of us.

In the middle of all of this, Jason's brother and wife had their little girl. Taylor Morgan was born on March 1st, about 2 weeks early, and ironically enough on her daddy's birthday. She is absolutely precious and we are so thrilled for them! The process of seeing her and holding her has actually been much easier than I thought it would be. At one point the 4 of us adults were eating dinner after Taylor had just come home from the hospital and was asleep in the other room. I completely forgot that there was a child in the house and momentarily panicked when I remembered. I realize you don't forget when it's your own child, but that panicked feeling made me really see how life changing a child is.

But anyway, I will try and do a better job of updating... I can't promise that'll happen since I'm not really the writer in the family, but I'll try. :)

Megan

1 year= infertile

So in the next couple weeks we'll approach 1 year of trying to get pregnant. At one year we can 'officially' say we are infertile and suffer infertility problems. That word, infertile, has been a tough one to swallow. I initially would cry anytime I said it or thought of myself that way. It's becoming easier to handle and accept and I'm beginning to embrace this infertility process as the path God is choosing to lead us down. I still cry, quite often really, but I rest in knowing there is a reason for all of this. A reason that I don't and can't understand, but a reason that will be revealed in time.